Here’s a powerful reframe for those moments when everything goes sideways—and you’re too exhausted to deal.
Why you’re frustrated & tired—and it’s not what you think.
We’ve all had those days—or weeks—when it feels like everything is happening at once: the Wi-Fi cuts out, the house is chaotic, relationships are strained, your mind is racing, and your body is just done. Emotional exhaustion sets in. You feel like you’re constantly trying to solve problems, but the more you try, the more drained you become.
If that sounds familiar, this real coaching message might speak directly to you.
Below is a message I received from one of my clients, followed by the unedited response I sent her back. It’s a simple moment—a tech issue and a bad day—but what’s underneath is something so many of us live with: the heavy emotional toll of believing our stressful thoughts without questioning them.
This is what happens when the survival brain takes over. When our inner narratives about needing to fix everything perfectly amplify the stress we’re already under.
But what if there’s another way?
This post shows how questioning those thoughts can restore your energy and bring peace back to the chaos, one shift at a time.
A Real Message from Someone Feeling Exhausted and Overwhelmed
“My internet isn’t working since yesterday. As soon as the issue gets resolved I’ll be back on.
Sorry girls, something or the other keeps happening at home and in my personal life and I feel exhausted and frustrated trying to solve them all.”
My Coaching Response: How to Reframe Stress and Restore Your Energy
No problem. And I invite you to consider that maybe there is a way not to experience “frustration” and stress around the internet thing—which is what’s actually causing the exhaustion.
After so many years of fatigue and illness, I’ve come to realize that all the same things can be happening… but without my old response of frustration, fear, and exhaustion. In this new place, you might even have mental thoughts that tell you stressful things—but you don’t really internalize them or feel the stress in your body.
Questioning—and finally losing—those stories (and the influence they had over my emotional well-being) has restored so much energy in my life and freed up brainpower for problem-solving.
I believe people honestly do go around thinking it’s natural to experience extreme stress and exhaustion when things go wrong. When in fact, the same things can happen… and problem-solving can simply proceed (just like it has with you figuring out the issue and now heading to your sister’s). It’s like you’re just walking through it and addressing things as they show up—almost like one of those little coffee table games where you untangle a chain or work a puzzle.
I’ve seen you come so so so far, sweetie!
And your life will really change. You’ll model for your daughter and others that “problems” don’t have to be stressful. They’re just things to be solved. Without your story, they become like one of those little puzzles—just something to untangle or reorder.
Of course, I fully acknowledge that when you’re at a survival level—lacking food, rest, shelter, or good health—it’s more challenging not to experience stress. That’s real. (Like my friend who’s always right on the edge of all those things.) But even then, it’s the same challenge—and one of our most sacred responsibilities to our body and our self:
To do what it takes to stay calm and connected.
To walk through what’s happening without letting the survival brain take over and pull us into catastrophe.
(And remember from our Thought Types work—all fear lives in the future, even if it’s just moments away. This becomes especially important when life throws a lot at you at once. Medical professionals talk about “total load”—the cumulative effect of multiple stressors stacking up. In those moments, it’s more essential than ever to stay with yourself, breathe, and question the thoughts that amplify your stress instead of letting the next step reveal itself.)
Notice how your brain labels something as bad or good.
It’s all just… something.
And maybe—without the story of frustration and exhaustion—this “something” can actually feel exciting… enlightening… new. Like working from your sister’s place. Just a nice change of scenery!
Much love,
Hawnie
How to Navigate Hard Moments Without Adding More Stress
What if you could move through a hard moment without the story that makes it stressful? That’s the heart of what we’re exploring here. The moment life throws something unexpected your way—big or small—your nervous system doesn’t have to go into overdrive. You don’t have to believe every fearful thought your mind serves up. With the right tools to practice, with presence, and with curiosity for your dear self, it’s possible to walk through challenges with clarity instead of collapse. This shift of a lifetime is real, and it starts one thought at a time.
Want more real-life tools and reframes like this? Join the Self-Solidarity Circle for free insights and support.