I dedicate this song to all the people who are suffering at 4:02 A.M., feeling persecuted by or separate from themselves, others, life, and love. Inspired by the courageous folks who are in the new Self-Evolution Divorce Support & Solutions Group; the song posted in this blog (and in our FB groups) is for those going through incredibly scary, sad, mind-boggling or heart-closing challenges.
As the song says, my hope is that you feel my love and presence for you. But most of all, my hope is that:
- YOU grow the No-Matter-What kind of love for yourself to which the song refers,
- You let this UNCONDITIONAL APPROACH to your difficult time cultivate the ability to find fearless faith directly out of each downturn… until you feel yourself constantly held in the unfailing way this song expresses–by something greater. And that you even
- Begin to experience your situation itself, exactly as it is unfolding, as LOVE IN DISGUISE.
I know that seems hard to fathom, but I see this shift every day.
Those three things are the TRUE light at the end of this dark tunnel: I am just a way-shower, paying it forward after my own dark tunnel of illness, divorce, and financial uncertainty into the light of self-love.
By focusing this work on freeing the conditional thinking that tells you anything looks like “NOT LOVE,” you come to find out for yourself over time that what’s really here is NOTHING BUT LOVE.
And whenever you can’t feel the love coming through every situation, you can learn to USE that trigger to wake yourself up to what you’re doing to yourself and others–how you separated from all that is by believing a thought that resists reality. To help out the mind that is innocently trying to save you by projecting worst case scenarios and telling you that it knows what should be happening that would be better than this as-is moment.
The ONE BASIC THOUGHT BEHIND ALL EMOTIONAL PAIN is a story that is very easy to question and unlink.
You can instantly see through the original separating thought, “In order to be happy, safe, free, loved… I need ‘X’ to be different than it is,” releasing the emotional hold it has on you, and shifting you into fearless faith in what IS manifesting. Not only does it provide a clear path to peace, but you begin suddenly noticing you are moving into Aligned Action. By turning around that belief, you create a window into your habitual self-sabotaging blind spots, which–when exposed–turn into breakthroughs every time.
It is the end of victim-hood and the beginning of unshakable internal safety in life and within your own mind.
I have never seen such a phenomenal blessed self evolution event as asking for what you want and finally standing up for yourself in a divorce process.
Trusting that when you stay true to a vision for you, you will create win-win outcomes for all, and let yourself receive powerful advocacy—whether through this group or through your legal support and other sources of friends, family and spiritual support.
Once you know how to do this (which I didn’t when I went through my divorce, causing it to be so unnecessarily painful and protracted), every twist and turn in this life-altering event becomes an extremely sacred and productive course correction that you can trust completely.
A NO MATTER WHAT Kind of Love and Self-Solidarity
NO MATTER WHAT you are going through right now, it is an intense and yet extremely sacred course correction that you can trust.
Whatever your feel you have lost, trust you have been spared something you didn’t need–in trade for a more enduring and unconditional connection with yourself and all you cannot fathom that was likely missing.
No matter how hurtful, confusing, sad, and crazy it seems to feel… it is waking you up to a level of warm, unshakable self advocacy I call “self-solidarity,” something you were likely not able to fully access within the context of your relationship, which is why it had to come apart in order for both of you to stop abandoning your dear self and reconnect to who you are, to others, and to the real source of your strength.
- If you want them to call you, CALL YOURSELF. Ask yourself what you need and be the one who gives it to you, or notice how God is already giving it to you through the gift of this moment that includes them NOT calling.
- If you want them to regret losing you, then REGRET LOSING YOURSELF in your obsession with them. Imagine the tenderest parts of you to be like children who feel they are no longer good enough or important to you, and do what it takes to reassure them and attend to what they need.
- If you feel minimized, ignored, unappreciated, notice how you are doing all of that to yourself, and to others–and how those patterns finally get a chance to heal in ways they couldn’t when you were with the person.
There is nothing sweeter than starting to have this unconditionally supportive relationship with yourself and to know that life/God is unconditionally supporting you via ALL-THAT-SHOWS UP, like in the song, even the roller coaster you’ve been on (once you know what to do with it).
That “Whatever Doesn’t Kill you…. BS…. “
I used to hate it when folks said “The hard stuff just makes you stronger,” but it didn’t in my case until I learned this 100% reliable way to find that I have what I need, am not a victim of my circumstances or others’ choices, and am being held by a greater wisdom I call the SYMMETRY PRINCIPLE that shows up as life simply reflecting the errors in my ego’s logic.
Keep reaching out. Keep coming to the Monday night Self Evolution Divorce Group at 7:15 Eastern. Keep posting on our Discussion forum. Keep letting others who need help know there is a shift in paradigm waiting for them that turns life’s hard stuff into gold. Keep calling or texting me. Keep posting on our groups. Keep finding out for yourself that there’s a simple dependable way to turn your inner critic into the champion of your happiness.
I can’t believe the things that are already happening with folks in that group after only two weeks! Here is the link if you are in any stage of unfinished business around the ending of your marriage, or share this simple sign-on link with others: