The old saying “Be careful what you wish for!” has taken on new meaning for me. Ever since I started living from the paradigm I call the “The NO-MATTER-WHAT Way,” I haven’t been so sure what to wish for. I used to say (warmly, but unthinkingly) to friends “Hope all is well,” or “Have a good trip,” but have since come to a place where I am so conscious that placing conditions on reality has never served me well.
I still hold whatever happy vision comes to me, but I don’t necessarily “wish’”for things since I’m so aware that our monkey minds can’t really KNOW what would be best!
So, I now tend to say things like, “Hope your date goes well–unless it doesn’t!” or “Give a great presentation–or not” to my clients and the people who know what I mean. (See my Irish blessing to you, written that way at the end of this message!)
I can honestly wish for it to go however it goes. That is the highest of wishes I can have for myself and offer these folks. That’s because I have learned–and am sharing with a lot of people–that if you see something as “not going well” (with your ex-husband or your boss or your child or your client), there are HUGE gifts in it.
In fact, when things have gone COMPLETELY AWRY (e.g., a relapse of dreaded old chronic symptoms!), my clients have been open to letting inquiry into their thoughts remind them that it is–more likely–the opportunity of a lifetime. The painful emotions are–always–just YOU showing YOU where YOU have abandoned yourself and life as it shows up.
Over time, I started to learn via a simple inquiry into whatever was upsetting me that I could absolutely RELY ON the “bad” things to bring me the exact gifts of peace, freedom, and love that I wanted, but couldn’t have accessed any other way. That even the pain of it has the power to wake us up to something we would need to heal in ourselves in order to be with the life that shows up. I call this Living in Symmetry with self, others, and life.
By questioning the thoughts that told me what was happening was bad (often using The Work or a shortened variation on that meditation), I started to see clearly that whenever I was in pain, it was really just a case of letting my monkey mind play God.
Am I Really the Decider of Good and Bad Outcomes?
I had relegated my mind to the position of “decider of good and bad,’”even though I had plenty of proof that it couldn’t POSSIBLY know whether the outcomes from a given event really WERE the worst thing that could happen (or the best).
This kind of noticing changes EVERYTHING (especially in all my relationships). It brings me instantly back to the humble place of receiving, rather than trying to control, judge, or legislate people and events to match what my limited thinking told me they SHOULD look like.
It has gifted me with a huge free-fall into the best Irish Blessing ever–LIFE EXACTLY AS IT IS! A grand WAIT-AND-SEE proposition where the best we can do is be 100% curious and open to how we (and others, and life) will show up, knowing we can ulimately trust and even harness the pain of this “as-is life.”
That “not blessed” (not what it should be) story comes out in our reactions to what unfolds – in relationship to others. ourselves, and the events that come our way that are completely out of our control (the road, the sun, the wind, the rain, what other people do). REAL-zing that is possible to move through my days and nights in this wonderful, maleable, connected way of being in and with life is the place I feel MOST healed. And I love watching that same healing consistently happen for others, too. In fact, I call my Happiness Hacks “the science of taking life as it comes” (AKA shortcuts to feeling better fast).
SO here is my modified Irish Blessing:
The Best Irish Blessing EVER—The No-Matter-What Irish Blessing (Where the biggest blessing of all is knowing how to LOVE LIFE AS IT COMES.)
Here is the loving-life-as-it-comes modified blessing:
May the road forever rise to meet you (UNLESS THERE IS A HOLE),
May the wind be always at your back (WHENEVER IT IS),
May the sun shine warm upon your face (EXCEPT WHEN IT’S RAINING),
And the rain fall soft upon your fields (UNLESS THERE’S A DROUGHT),
And until we meet again (IF WE EVER DO)…
May God hold you in the palm of his hands (HOW COULD IT BE OTHERWISE? ONLY OUR MONKEY-MIND WOULD TELL US THAT GOD HOLDING US HAS TO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY.)
Love you, no matter what (EXCEPT WHEN I DON’T).