Surrogate Self-Love Model

Updated 2/14/23

This Valentine’s Day I celebrate–via this note from a client–the phenomenal love, trust, and gratitude that “go around and come around” between the ME that’s reflected in each of YOU and the YOU that’s reflected in ME. Thank you to each heart that has filled mine to the brim this past year, somehow creating even more room! What transpires between us is beyond my wildest dreams, and I love that you let me know it’s beyond yours too!. xoxo

Here is her note to me:

“Yes, yes, YES!!! I love our sessions, and I LOVE the group, and  I love letting you act as a kind of surrogate self-love mom to model for me and hold me in unconditional love while I’m learning to hold myself. 

That’s so EXACTLY what I need. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because I have an old coach contacting me and wanting me to come back to her group, and I absolutely cannot see myself doing that now that I’ve had a taste of you. Shawn, you have such a different vibe about you, and are so kind and gentle and so loving. It’s just what I have needed in order to heal. 

I love how you’re such a wonderful role model, too, since you LIVE what you’re teaching. It’s not as if you’re perfect and way above everyone else, but you show that it is possible to awaken so much more as you find your peaceful way through this life. Even though your life is hardly free of challenges, you show us that it can be done and the very practical HOW to do it.

What I also love about our time together is that you are unconditionally loving and accepting — you know me better than just about anybody else on this earth, and yet you’ve never once been judgmental or condemning (or shocked or horrified). 

Any rejection would have shut me right down and built my walls up even higher, so I thank you very much that you’ve given me the gift of acceptance and of hope. I’ve never, ever, felt such sincere love (and I know “unconditional” sounds cliché, but that’s exactly what it is — completely free of judgments and “should’s”). I feel that I can trust you, and I’ve never really felt 100% that way about anyone before.”

The experience of love that characterizes these fun, close, honest, searching, productive relationships that take place in our groups and  retreats and private sessions seem, in many ways, as much responsible for the shifts people are experiencing as the work we do.

Thank you for the commitment to receive… even in just the reading of these posts. YOU taking that stand for yourself creates the best I have to give.

What a privilege. Love you to the moon and back!

xoxo Shawn

P.S. If you want to stop being hard on yourself, turn your inner critic into the champion of your happiness, and get more sweets by being your OWN Valentine this year, my GIFT to you is a COMPLIMENTARY copy of the Wheel of Self-Love, a simple tool that not only changed my life but has freed thousands of people around the world (YES–FREE! Just use the PROMO CODE:

P.P.S. If you are struggling in marriage, the workplace, or any high-stakes relationship (including grown children and aging parents), and want to learn the HOW of getting your needs met in a compassionate, efficient way that changes patterns for good, those who get the Wheel of Self-Love at 100% off can also get our newest digital course, the 14-day (or binge watch it in one day for Valentines Day!) Stressful Relationship Solutions digital course for half-price ($97). It’s a true game changer!