FINALLY “Getting it Right…”
When I talked in Parts I and II of this annual blog about Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog Day, I didn’t mean the kind of “right” like some arbitrary standard outside of us.
The kind of right I’m referring to means we finally realize something HUGE–that the only separation from the perfection of the moment happens inside us–the moment we believe there is a problem and close our heart to the reality in front of us.
When Bill Murray finally learned the payoffs of going with life, exactly as it showed up, even the moments that were IDENTICAL to those he used to despise (that even includes the truly obnoxious insurance salesman, NED RYERSON–ha ha!).
He was full of gratitude and unconditional love and the wish to serve; in other words life simply was NOT A PROBLEM. It was a non-stop opportunity for love and celebration of what is–the exact opposite of his former jaded attitude. The ‘”terrible awful” things simply could not show up as repeating themselves, because inherent in his new view was that nothing could show up as not welcome (and when it did, he had started going back and tweaking his own behavior–not cursing his situation).
So the “hard stuff” is there, not to persecute us, but to give us a bump to see that painful reactions to life just mean a thought has wandered down the “wrong street” and put our perception out of alignment with what is unfolding. Our work is about finding that there is no ‘”right” other than how we see ourselves and others showing up. The scary fallacy that actually causes our emotional distress is believing our minds “‘know” what would be better.
The OTHER Street–Where You’re No Longer Watching a “Repeat”
When we know how to free-fall into love with what is, and know how to help out the part of us that can’t, there are no re-runs–just curiosity and openness. Everything is new and everything is now. Once you’ve got this, you’ve got it! Then, externally, the EXACT same events and people’s behaviors may be happening in our lives, but we see them as they are–no strings or stories attached. I regularly have people tell me they think the person who was bugging them so much who is unwilling or unable to change HAS CHANGED! (And yet the other was not the one who did this deep work on their thinking!)
There is a much EASIER STREET. Really! It doesn’t have to hurt so much. Turning around those repeated experiences where we feel like a victim of our circumstances or others’ behavior doesn’t have to be hard. (That’s my dad at 89… swinging through life!)
Finding We don’t need THEM to Change to Be OK
By “getting it right” I mean noticing that we find ourselves no longer resisting the reality that is showing up. We begin to know that when reality looks “all wrong,” our only job is to discover how it is a perfect reflection of how we are doing to ourselves and others what we thought they were doing to us.
When we see ourselves and others in our complete innocence–always doing the absolute best that we can given what we are believing–everything changes.
On that street, our only job is to give some help to the other little beliefs that may sometimes start to turn down the old streets or even fall in a hole or two, thinking they have to walk that well-worn path to protect us by telling us “something is wrong.”
In other words, we get to spot how we have placed mind-made conditions on ourselves, others, and life. The only real source of emotional pain is believing those conditions need to be met in order for us to be safe, happy, and free.
Living and Loving Without Conditions
So here’s the PUNCH LINE: there IS an easier way. Bill Murray’s “same old old story” of waking up in an uninspiring world transformed into a “same new story” of waking up each morning to a perfect day.
One of my clients just reflected to me the same most welcome transformation in her own life–of waking up each day to a perfect day–after formerly waking up each morning to nightmarish depression. I wish the same for you! This is a very reachable goal. I see it every day.
Shift DOES really happen around here!
Once each moment began to look truly fresh and new to him–without agenda or the need to control outcomes–he found he was living the life of his dreams. Only then could he move out of his repetitive hell and into a life where each day is fresh and new. If you want to get to the bottom of your reactions and see how quickly the same old relationship dynamics can change, you may want to go further than just reading about the dependable shifts that take place when you rely on this Happy Symmetry. You may want to learn the very simple things you can do to stop letting those old childhood survival scripts (repeating patterns in your life) stop digging holes for you to fall into.
UNTIL NEXT YEAR…. Happy Groundhog Life!!!
Much love,
🙂 Shawn
P.S. I invite you to let me support you while you REALLY take a look–just a look, no blame, no shame–in this outrageously cool
and predictable mirror called life. That mirror will move you into action to address your biggest holdout places, so you can create a life that truly fits by making real, sustainable changes. Ready to do more than just read about it?
Serious about taking action toward getting you back?