We gather today in an hour at my lovely spot on the water for the Second VIP day that celebrates those who have completed a year of the Mastermind and Mentoring Experience, those who have turned a corner in this process, and those who are brand new—starting today!
The focus is on making amends to self and others. I’m sharing the email I send yesterday to invite you all to be in your own process, and to reach out to me about any lack of forgiveness in your own life, or wish to have the willingness to make living amends to the parts of you or others you may have harmed out of the innocence of believing your own stressful thoughts. Here is my invitation to you to consider getting more lightness in you own life through the letting go of entanglements creates by unfinished business:
PREPARING YOUR INSIDES:
I wanted to invite you to a ‘living meditation’ today. As you go through your day, try to get a bit quieter and more self-contained when it comes to connecting to the outside world for affirmation, and come inside.
As you start to keep your own counsel and focus on letting your breath and life as it shows up nurture you and fill you with love and strength, open yourself to a very honest place within you. Maybe with that comes also a courageousness, a knowing that being as impeccable as you can with your words and actions in this world is part of your path of peace.
UNFINISHED BUSINESS WITHIN YOURSELF
Try to hone in on situations where you feel you have forgiven yourself for the ways you showed up, but still wonder if you did harm to others along the way. Or where you have forgiven another, but in some ways have still been holding him or her responsible (or God–ie, a life event that wasn’t any one person’s ‘fault’).
Start looking, now from the perspective of having been in this work, to see if there is anything left on your side. Any guilt, regret, lack of forgiveness of yourself or the other….any change in the openness of your heart toward yourself or another since that event (or since a whole slew of events in a marriage or other long-term situation that represent ‘the way you were,’ that you feel you have now begun to change).
FORGIVENESS AS A PREREQUISITE
If you feel you are close to that place, but still have not completely forgiven another, you may want to sit down for just a bit with the FORGIVENESS FLIP and see if you move more in the direction of completely letting go. Or if you haven’t forgiven yourself, you may want to sit down with THE WHEEL OF SELF-LOVE, and find your own innocence, address whatever you still fear are the ‘bad things’ that came of your actions, and give yourself what you feel you need from others in the way of knowing you are still OK even if you did show up that way.
It’s not a true making of amends if you are still looking to the other person to affirm that you are OK even though you did this thing, or if you are still in someways blaming them for creating your own behavior. It’s a gift to notice that and go back in and clean up whatever is left, finding your own innocence as well as the others in essence… Everyone doing the best they can given what they are believing, and you still recognize that you may have done home while in that state of believing your own thoughts. We see only the picture we have of the world in that moment, and act completely out of that. There is no other reality for us in that moment, so we are doing the best we can. And we may be able to see later that A cycle of reactivity, a separation from someone we love, including ourselves, a polarity What is created in the moment when we acted out of a fear driven thought.
Living in symmetry means noticing the way it feels in our bodies when we leave that separation hanging there, and that is our opportunity to go in and neutralize the polarity by finding complete forgiveness. And then by taking responsibility for the consequences of our actions, caring about what happened for the other person, and offering to set it right.
If you’d like to take a look at either of those two Happiness Hacks PDFs—the ALL-OUT AMENDS LADDER (the one we will be covering in our VIP day tomorrow), you can find them in our Happiness Hacks page.
AMENDS…. BUT ONLY WHEN READY….
Cleaning up our own side of the street is one of the main things that allows us to move beyond the reactions, compulsions, and addictions (the addiction to our own stressful thoughts being the addiction that drives all other addictions, including codependence). SO, the act of preparing for, and making amends to yourself and to others, when you are ready, can catapult you to a new place in your journey to inner peace and freedom. It is one of the hallmarks of 12-step programs, and–as with our work–is preceded by a true inventory of your own part, letting go of blame and shame, and then setting things right with others.
Trust your process and your timing. Some people have called or written to someone DURING this event, others right after, and others not until months later. This can be just a readiness-inducing thought-provoking day, or a stimulus to action. You don’t need to know which, and can’t really know until you see what shows up.
SO just come and enjoy… nothing heavy about this…. it just one of many steps you all are taking toward greater LIGHTNESS and connectedness in your lives.
See you SOON!