The Too Much Not Enough Story

Client: Too many people in my house, too many distractions!

Shawn: Is it true??? Haha. But seriously, anytime I hear my mind saying too much or not enough, it’s a major red flag that I need to drop into inquiry.

Life as Your Perfect Teacher

Here is life showing up as my perfect teacher and my monkey mind saying that’s too much or that’s not enough.

And that doesn’t mean you have to be passive and can’t notice how you would feel about them being there without the thoughts. You can still choose to kick them out if you want.

Are They Really Too Much for You?

It’s just important before you do that to sort out how much of it was your mind believing it was too much and blaming them for whatever is going on versus taking care of the story that is the real source of our pain.

It’s very cool that you said “too many people” so I could expound on that little shortcut of watching for that “too much/not enough“ story.

Just catching that one made a big difference in my own life. : – )

“Maybe It’s Me Who Needs to Do The Work”

Agreed that it seems that criticism causes us/me to feel not enough and yet that constant judgment of people asking me for help then judging me for how I live or where or what I have… something seems very wrong with this picture — and so it’s me who needs to do The Work???

I can see the ways you are still agreeing to things you don’t really want from day to day. So as long as you’re doing that, it’s going to feel like you don’t want people there. If you really can’t make those changes within the context of someone present, then you probably need to ask them to leave while you grow that part of yourself.

Ask for What You Want and Work through What Shows Up

You may want to ask them to leave anyway, even if you are very good at asking, or negotiating, for what you need. The best way to gain clarity about that is to start down the path of working with what you need and want, asking for it, working through what comes up when you ask for it, working through what comes up when they react, and negotiating win-win solutions. Then over time it will be very clear if you have viable agreements. And if you don’t, then it’s easy to end them, no blame no shame, and bring them back to the level at which they were working