Today, one of the members of the film crew who is making a real “Indy” movie at our retreat cottage (see cars, sets, and paraphenalia in the picture) said they wanted to do a documentary on my life, on what I had recovered from and how I came to be thriving inside and out. She said that, without knowing what I do for a living (usher people into prosperity via self-love), they “KNEW” after these months of working together that something was different about me. “You were just oozing love and safety and service and flexibility and hope and prosperity’….
WOW. It came right on the heels of me deciding that the thing I do so well and must publicize more about client results is ‘inner/outer prosperity via self-solidarity’–i.e., what I have lived in the years since I got hold of this ‘happy symmetry’ paradigm shift. From anxiety and striving and upset and self-doubt and illness (see anniversary below), into an ever deepening state of curiosity, thriving, and unfailing support–even in the face of things that look like setbacks or still have the power to trigger me. It’s about happily putting one foot in front of the other and letting fears and upsets (now mostly related to that great guru known as entrepreneurship, in my case) wake us up to whatever innocent story is left that separates us from otherwise limitless fun and prosperity.
INTO DOUBT AND DEJECTION AND RIGHT BACK OUT
Given that paradigm, it makes sense that this last evolution/decision emerged just after I had plunged into a moment of deep self-doubt and dejection around the concern of one of my clients. I even invited her to do a judge-your-neighbor worksheet on me–on the fact that she is benefiting so much from our work, but feels she may have to to choose between getting this and something else she also thinks will help her and thriving financially. Her message to herself “I need Shawn to charge less so I can get what I need” woke me up to my own stronger calling: to stand FOR HER in doing what I have done best: Continuing to invest in myself and whatever dream is on my radar screen–setting free the painful stories that get in the way–which lets me grow into the next greater levels of trust and thriving. As such, my ever-expanding prosperity does not get stopped in its tracks, and I want to support her in seeing that is not the only other choice for her.
Quite the opposite; I saw that all the different internal and external ways I invested over the years in ME were exactly what gave ‘scared inner me’ the clear message that I am worth the investment and all will be well. I know from experience that the very fears she is experiencing about the future would take care of themselves via this very investment in herself. Something about doing that also also ignites a new kind of magic where the support we need shows up. Once the decision is made, we are anointed with creativity, having empowered ourselves to tackle any obstacles in our path (including money). This grand ‘turning it over’ to something beyond our fearful thoughts–frees our minds for real problem-solving (after watching myself let my pain evolve me in 15 minutes while walking my dog yesterday, I coined the term “Evolve, then Problem-Solve!” about the cascade of ideas that comes flooding in once we wake ourselves up to the belief that is keeping us stuck).
This is the very thing that has propelled me (and those who work with me) to ever-increasing levels of health, happiness, love, prosperity, and impact each time we question the beliefs that would take all that away. What I did (and do) for myself and others is to go within and ‘see through’ the scary fallacy we are believing–the one that says there isn’t enough to give ourselves the next thing that will relieve our suffering and realize the next dream.
CRUSHING OUR OWN SPIRITS
Believing in everyone else’s fears over the years (when I had such big dreams and lots of fearlessness, but kept working to appease the resistance and garner support form stakeholders who were scared by my vision) is part of what made me sick–it literally crushed my spirit and my creativity, and by extension crushed my immune system and my physical body. What I didn’t see was that is was always and only an inside job, and I was blaming everyone else. Now I see that i am doing the same thing if I keep myself at a subsistence level in order to match the vibrations of those ‘can’t stories’ of others. After seeing relationships, businesses, and lives take off every day, why would I hesitate to charge what it takes to keep growing this movement so I can share it with more folks (including sharing the wealth for those who truly can’t pay)?
Suddenly in my own pain around how I should react to my clients’ plight, I woke up to the fact that what I have to give is EXACTLY what she would need wake herself up–in order to give herself ‘ME.’ Yet to see through the limiting beliefs she would need to invest FIRST–that’s why its called a leap of faith. She has overcome enough fears and grown in self-love to the point that I think this has come up for a reason: Every single inquiry screams that she wants herself to become the hero she’s been waiting for–to stop hinging her happiness on a set of unattainable conditions, and thus be always waiting and always striving and always deeply disappointed and scared. While she has done a lot of work on herself over the years, this is about living the symmetry held in her painful reactions to what life brings.
Our egos are powerful–The money concern came up the minute she got a big piece of freedom from a very painful, very old story in our session. Noticing that she CAN have it all if she follows her heart–getting everyone else out of the picture and saying what do I want?–she will be supported in ways that are beyond her wildest dreams. I have noticed how many times over the years. when I came to a place where I absolutely did not know how I was going to pay for the next ‘unfolding’, that I have caught myself letting that story scare me, woken myself up to its lack of truth, then came back to keeping my eye on th prize. I can mentor this one till the cows come home. No holds barred trust in whatever emerges through me, shifting into fun with the process — once again awakened to the fact that the outcome is absolutely out of my hands.
ANOTHER CELEBRATION AND A CLIENT
And every single time I do this , there is somehow an ‘enough’ windfall to cover what I need (it happened Monday when another current client not only signed up for my year-long platinum mastermind but paid in advance for the year). Watching myself rise like a phoenix from the ashes of that momentary place of hopelessness after her comments–and over and over again when I notice I’m going into self doubt–is very sweet and is followed by other windfalls of clarity and help or an even better vision than the one I just evolved through. True to form, the extra goodies to support and cement the shift were also there to catch me–in this case one of my business coaches was already scheduled at the end of that 15 minute walk where I shifted! So that there was a cheerleader there to hear my cascade of revelations and make plans about how they affect my product suite and work together for the next hour to determine action steps and overcome obstacles.
ANOTHER CELEBRATION AND AN EBOOK
What arose from that “bout of self-doubt” was a place where I knew that I have to invest more than ever in the help I need to bring this current dream to fruition simply because it is what I see before me and what feels good. I saw that the only thing that didn’t feel good was that I wasn’t stepping into the next level, and that I needed to disseminate my true grasp of that prosperity and thriving (that she created with me by saying what was true for her.) That’s the way it always works, those who have the answers I need when I didn’t even realize I was looking by asking the right questions (which sometimes comes in the form of difficult circumstances that pose a question without a human articulating it). And what is weird is that I shifted myself using the process that works every time that I just wrote an ebook about!!! (“The Spark of Love: Reversing Self-Doubt, Indecision, and Painful Approval Seeking in 3 Simple Steps”–message me if you want a copy when it’s back from the editor! xox).
What a bottomless well of fun and creativity and self-love; and each time I go deeper into that ‘unshakable self-solidarity’ after leaving my dearest self, I can see that I am just at the tip of the iceberg in terms of the absolute free-fall into letting life catch me. (Hence the ‘ICEBERG’ pictures with this post,)
That self-solidarity means that if she is not ready to receive this piece I have to share, I don’t doubt or leave myself; I absolutely trust that those who are ready will show up, and if no one shows up, that means I’m supposed to have all this love and thriving for myself! Funny, how it works though…. as I focused on my own inner shift, it seems she has also shifted and is working on ways to make it all work–miracles come of the deep and intimate honoring we did together of by inviting her most honest reservations and judgments. Together we shifted the constellation of negative beliefs that existed between us. And since ‘what we see is what we get’ it has happily shifted the entire universe in which we each live.
THE 15-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF MY ‘LIFE CRASH’
Coming full circle on the prosperity theme….. The observations of the film crew about the joy I have in serving them and this fearlessness that so impressed them made me realize that right now is 15 YEARS from what may be the lowest point in my life. It was January 2001 when I realized that even though I thought I would just take 3 weeks off to get back on my feet (after watching my health ‘crash’ since early that fall), I had to begrudgingly accept that I was not really going to be able to return to work and had to apply for disability, all the while feeling horrible physically and hopeless emotionally. I watched my health–and by extension my marriage, my job, my public speaking career, and the next book that was almost finished–collapse over the course of 9 months.
Despite the pain I was in on every level, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me–and, I hope, ultimately, to my daughter, my x-husband, and those who now get to receive some of the goodies from me! And–thinking back–I realize that NONE of it was free. This brings me to a new level of being happy to serve both myself and others in the exchange of energy involved when I invite people to pay for me to ignite the absolutely life-changing and rapid shifts they have within them, a gift that has grown in part from my own hard-won seeing-through of every thought that got (and still can get) in my way. YAY! SO grateful to be here, and hope this helps you feel good about asking for–and paying for—are worth. xox