Ever want to strangle the people that say, Just think of 10 things you are grateful for, when you simply don’t feel grateful? You may already know, if you’ve been around me long, that I have a big issue with ‘Affirming OVER’ the littlest part of us that hurts because it needs our help to transform what it’s believing. I wrote about that recently (HEY–just realized I never posted it!)
I’ll do that soon, but for now I want to address the part of you that judges you for judging, for not being able to ‘just be,’ that is always doing or striving or deciding or ruminating. I love that little one… which we will call it the TURKEY in you just for today, the one that reacts to all the other TURKEYS when your story says you are supposed to meet others with unconditional love and equanimity. But sometimes you just can’t–even after this LONG spiritual journey!
“I love that one of our Symmetry of Self-Love Mastermind members, late last night, questioned the judgment I have often heard her say about herself, “I can’t just be,” (i.e. her definition of “just be” meaning: Just be with what shows up without judging it or striving).
Together we found evidence that the polar opposite is true: “I CAN Just be” (the foolproof evidence that she can: HOW could we be anything other than what we are, exactly as we show up, which can include judging ourselves or others, or tantruming or striving to be or have something other than the moment has brought?).
She also found, “My thinking can’t just be.” And found they she could let that be OK! The more we explored the nature of thinking, the more we saw that it is the one that can’t just be–ego comes up with a cascade of reasons why this moment is not OK. She realized she that could be running all the time–and when she saw that it believes that doom and gloom thinking of predicting what might go wrong or hurt you is it’s way of saving you–she could let it “just be” without seeing it or herself as bad or unloveable.
The trick is to compassionately question it (oh really, sweetie..,are you sure?) and find freedom in that moment by helping out that little tenacious savior. And over time, as we accept and support it AS-IS, and let it see through the programmed stories, it gets a lot quieter. When we start to be with these innocent motives behind the thinking, see it as a child always doing the best it can and believing it can help–even as we notice how it is the very thing causing our pain–It is happy to let go once it sees for itself that is not needed.
It just wants to play (through happy visions and dreaming) and solve problems (These are its strengths. It was never meant to predict the future or know the “true meaning” of the past. We got that part all wrong somewhere along the way, and now we are at a juncture where we have the tools to finally start to clean up and re-writing that damaging myth that our minds know what’s going on and what it means).
Those of us who like to question whether we can ever know if something is a ‘good’ or a ‘bad’ outcome often talk about that quandary of “wishing stuff” for folks while wanting to stay open to the possibility that it may not meet their expectations or feel good! And that, once you know how to use whatever upsets you to find ever greater peace and freedom, the ‘bad stuff’ can be the best gift of all. SO when I say “Have a Fun Thanksgiving,” I kinda have the no-matter-what happens meaning: that all-inclusive beingness (which spell-checker turned to “being mess.” Love it!
Have fun “being a mess” this thanksgiving, my darlings. Xox”