This morning I was rudely–and then happily–reminded that WHATEVER has and will taken place during this wonderful time we’ve had together in the Radical Relationship Relief Webinar series–and especially between now and Monday (the deadline for deciding whether to stick with me on this journey) is not between you and me.
It is BETWEEN ME and ME.
I woke up with a start this morning—eyes wide open, a clenched throat and that kicked-in-the-stomach feeling, lots of ‘figuring out’ going on in my brain.
TODAY is the day I…. (drum roll)…..
TODAY IS THE DAY I ‘OPEN THE CART’ FOR THE FOLKS WANT A SPOT IN THE RRR GROUP INTENSIVE. Eeeek!!!
I’m excited that I’m also going to Re-Cap all we’ve learned in the webinar…. Interview my ‘star pupil’ Emily, all the way from Bali…. Answer questions till the cows come in about whatever is in your heart…
Including whether or not to say with me on journey (which is really just getting started)….
But the thought that separated me from this GLORIOUS morning was:
“I need the program to fill up TONIGHT–within minutes after I OPEN THE SHOPPING CART!”
There is only a limited window—but I can’t stand waiting till Monday for the cart to close
My mind is staging a full-on screaming tantrum that embodies the spirit of all tantrums:
“I WANT IT AND I WANT IT ALL AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!”
How do I know? I feel it in my body — every time!
Whether it’s aimed at a person or a situation, it always sounds like some version of this:
I need reality (YOU!) to show up THIS WAY in order for me to be OK!
I know that sounds strong, but it is the crux of all relationship pain.
When we place conditions on how we or another or reality needs to shows up in order to be OK, we have left our beloved (ourselves and the one in front of us—just as they ARE showing up).
No wonder it feels lonely. No one is home over here.
But we are not really with the other person either; we are married to the construct in our mind of how that person SHOULD BE. (Pretty common–esp. in marriage!)
EVERY kind of emotional pain originates in believing we need whatever is the object of our attention to show up a certain way for us to be OK (whether it’s our child or that child’s other parent, our boss, our body, money, the members of a FB group, the entire opposite sex, a political party, or the weather…. ).
You get the picture. When I believed you needed to do ANYTHING for me to feel or be OK, I was in hell.
But then, it all stopped.
I noticed I had left myself.
I had gone over into your business.
It happens. It’s what our society and our upbringing and our reinforcement have us programmed to do.
But being in others isn’t a lifestyle for me anymore—an excruciating, adrenal-draining, sleep depriving lifestyle that used to have me captive. Something has shifted.
I caught it, and became so relaxed and free of stressful thoughts that I fell back to sleep! I got it that I will be just as good if you DON’T sign on as if you DO. Isn’t that RADICAL!).
I sat with the ‘little ones,’ those powerful scary terrorizing gremlins—brought them up on my lap and said (to myself) “Oh sweetie. What do you need?”
I found my heart opening to my dear self. And I found that was all I needed. I saw that I was OK no matter what you did. That you shouldn’t join us unless you do. Why would I want anything but that? We are all me, bringing me all I need, exactly as we show up.
I came back home—just the way you will once you’ve had more practice and have seen through the really ‘big ones.’
And it sticks.
Like finding out that snake in the grass is just a rope. You simply can NEVER get hooked in the same way by your dramatic story that something or someone has the power to hurt you.
I came back home to safety and support and perfection. I FELT the release in my body as my thinking got aligned with reality and I saw that it was always an inside job—BETWEEN ME AND ME.
Just the way YOU will in the Individual and/or Group Intensive if you decide to you want to knock out the stories that have a choke-hold on you.
Just the way…
- You will witness and powerfully shift the daily, weekly, monthly, lifetime pain of being in another’s business, including the business of the past and the future.
- You will see FOR YOURSELF how this destructive habit of mind can yield a HUGE gift of self-love (and how you don’t need to stop doing it–until you do!).
- You give and receive collectively help each other spot when you are abandoning yourself and whatever is in unfolding to compare it with your mind-made images.
- You will see how it is at the crux of ALL your relationship pain, and put that pain to work in a BIG WAY.
- You will harness it to shift your life exponentially as you get insights and support from others.
- You will learn to give a very clean ‘hands-off’ in-your-own business kind of support to others.
- You will move on the deepest and ‘most real’ level, as you learn to facilitate shifts in them too.
- You will be continuously HELD BY ME.
- You will start to get a kick out of our adorable thoughts and self, and connect with others, a relationship-work buddy or mastermind group, and ME–for life!
- You will not only do inquiries, you will do hilarious role plays with your real situations.
- You will have ALL OF US as your team, cheerleaders, and your pit crew as you pull over for a little while every week to change out some stinkin’ thinkin’ and tune up your turn-arounds before you get back out on the track.
- You will be surrounded by others committed to not bringing another ounce of unconscious habitual pain-filled programming and inner/outer violence into the world that doesn’t need to be here.
- And together we will practice inquiry, fearlessly see through our most heart breaking, gut wrenching situations, laugh at how simple it is.
BECAUSE… For as long as it is there, and even when it seems to be largely gone (as in my case, until my wonderful and yet scary mailing list showed up) then the pain of being in another’s business is your moment to evolve.
So, this morning, as I was lying there, I saw again that it is always only BETWEEN ME AND ME.
When the pupil is ready, the teacher will come…. In other words, whether or not YOU are ready for all this freedom is BETWEEN YOU and YOU.
And how I anticipate and react to how you show up is BETWEEN ME and ME. No bad outcomes. Just curiosity.
Whew. That’s a relief. My throat is relaxing. My stomach is ready for breakfast now.
This inner landscape is SO MUCH MORE FUN to navigate once you know what to do with it!
When we know how to follow the thread of what we want from someone else, and then inquire deeply to realize we (and they) are perfectly OK even if they don’t give it to us, we have come home to ourselves.
In other words, when I want YOU to sign on and pay your good money for this amazing event, then I turn it around and see that my joy lies in doing that myself! So I can look at what I want from you and be instructed as to what I have not been giving to you and to myself. THAT is all I need, when I just do it.
So I ask myself, “What do I want from you that I can give myself around this event?” I want you to show up on the call tonight with anticipation and bring all your questions. I want you to decide to be in. I want you to want it 100%–no conditions. I want you to sign on for YOU and give it all you’ve got. I want you to be happy to invest in yourself by hiring me for this radical support I give.
- By deciding I’m in.
- By noticing I want it 100% –no conditions.
- By signing on with ME and giving it all I’ve got.
- By being happy to pay good money to invest in myself by hiring me for this radical support I give (and by hiring the amazing folks who are helping reach out to LOTS more people in this way.)
I don’t need anything else in this moment. How you react in the future to what I put out there is so CLEARLY outside the realm of my business. My business is to do notice what comes to me to do—which is to offer these webinars, to invite you to the GROUP AND INDIVIDUAL INTENSIVE options, to enjoy WHATEVER happens next and to notice when my body tells me I’m in your business. VERY SIMPLE.
And when I REALLY notice, I see that there is no outcome that could make or break who I really am….I see that who I really am is inhabiting the bed I am sitting on as much as the body that is doing this typing. I am fully present. I am inspired. I am a witness to this unfolding miracle.
How it works is SO COOL!!!!
Can’t wait to give it away to LOTS more people!!!!
I’m either in love with the person in front of me or I’m in some kind of pain, which spins the glorious silver thread back to even more love—the truly NON-CONDITIONAL kind.
It’s faith like you never had faith before.
I’ll be curious if you do click to find out more, and it will be amazing either way, and I will get to grow my ability to hold and love you without needing you to earn it by showing up some particular way that I tell myself with ensure my happiness.
Yep. There ARE no bad outcomes. See you there…. Or not. Either way, it’s always between ME and ME.