I used to be known among my friends for the way I would get really stuck in fear and regret and self-doubt. I’d need them to talk me down off the ledge after any meeting at work or a conversation with a boyfriend or when I took a test–or whenever I felt I could have done better.
Antidote to REGRET HELL
I regretted my choices so much that I would go into a lot of fear about whatever I had created and how I had sabotaged myself. For more than half of my life I was an expert at going into what I call regret hell, And because it was so painful, I ended up becoming an expert at how to get out of regret hell, since I stumbled upon three simple steps that changed everything!
In this article, I want to share with you just one simple concept that made a really big difference for me. It didn’t matter before how much spiritual seeking or how much inner work and counseling and 12-step programs I had done. I still could not stop beating myself up at every turn. Affirmations didn’t work. Meditation didn’t work because I was believing my own monkey-mind-thinking telling me that in some ways I had no one to blame but myself and that I had done it all wrong.
I would be sure that I had caused pain for myself or others, and dropped into a place where I couldn’t forgive myself. However, I learned one simple, helpful concept that was first brought to my attention by Byron Katie that relates to the nature of thought and reality. I realized I could take myself back to that moment when I did or said “that thing” and realize that I was being driven by the thinking that the only reality is whatever was going on wherever I was in that moment. It used to be fodder for beating myself up; but I started looking at the brain science and realized that we don’t create our own thinking.
We Don’t CHOOSE Our Thoughts
There’s so much of a party line out there suggesting “you choose your thoughts,” as if there’s a buffet where you choose different ones; but at the moment, if you really look at what happens, you will realize it’s more like thoughts just show up.
You do not plan them, you do not pre-meditate them, you do not say I’m about to think this or let me not think that or I’ll stop thinking for a while now — it’s none of that. The thoughts just show up and when they’re there in the moment when you’re believing them, you’re going to act right out of the belief that you’re going to save yourself. You’re going to try to save another, you’re going to do what comes to you to do based on what you’re believing — and yet you did not create the thoughts!
So somehow that created a huge shift in me.
Turn Regret, Guilt, Self-Doubt, and Indecision into Radical Self-Love, Confidence, and Power
I’ll go ahead and teach you the three steps that make up this entire Self-Solidarity System that moves you from this kind of self-criticism, self-hatred, and self-doubt into a radical kind of self-love self-advocacy, and confidence. Confidence in your own actions and your own decisions and in the outcomes of them, knowing that no matter what happens, no matter what you said or did, nothing is worse than the ways that you turn on your own dear, well-meaning self.
And once you find that, once you realize that regret and the pain of it are not so much about what happens or who’s angry at you; you understand that you’re angry with yourself and that you have abandoned yourself!
So you’re the one who gets to come home.
START NOW! Free download or Larger Package with Serious Implementation Bonuses
I’ll teach you more about how to do that in the next article/video. We have already sent out the Wheel of Self-Love, that contains these 3 steps, and if you had not yet downloaded it, you can get it for free on my website www.shawnmahshie.com. And if you’re ready to start learning now, and putting this to work in your life, go ahead and click the button below, to get the whole Self-Solidarity package, which includes THE SPARK OF SELF-LOVE ebook, and many more bonuses, including a session with me!
For me it was like a miracle. It changed my life to know how to forgive myself to move into self-compassion and into aligned action. And don’t worry; it doesn’t excuse us from taking responsibility. In fact, forgiving yourself positions you even better to be able to make amends and move forward and encourage others to do the same.
Self-solidarity makes you more solid with others and with life as it shows up.